I tend not to dwell on ‘what might have been.’ But if you have struggled through chronic illness, that thought can creep into your head when you least expect it watching other people do what they think of as normal. A short trip to visit family, maybe a fun lunch with a friend, or on most mornings waking up feeling rested and ready to tackle the day. Funny how we gauge how we feel and think by comparing ourselves to what others feel and think. So, what is normal? Actually, it’s whatever you want it to be.
Many alarm bells which should have caused me to change course in my life, didn’t. My early career as a professional musician and recording artist was hardly a lifestyle conducive to health or emotional stability on any level. So at 30, with my 1st marriage in shambles, I left the high pressure music business of Nashville, TN and attempted to transition to a more ‘normal’ 9 to 5 world. That proved to be much more difficult that I imagined.
Sherri King United Artists Promo 1976 album Almost Persuaded
Five years later, I married again and within a year had a beautiful baby girl. This is when life got real, so to speak. My mother who had early-onset dementia came to live with us. All the red flags were waving. A 5-week-old baby and an uncontrollable mentally unstable mother. What could go wrong.
My 2nd marriage, shaky at best, was strained to the breaking point with Mother’s progressively erratic, suicidal behavior making caring for her at home impossible. So for her sake and ours, I made the heartbreaking choice to place my 60-year-old mother in a nursing home. Three short years later, I had to tell her that her youngest child, my little sister, had died unexpectedly at only 30 years old. I’ll never forget the look on her face. The decisions I made concerning my mother and unresolved negative feelings between me and my sister caused a persistent voice of guilt to become stuck in my head. “You didn’t do enough. You should have done more.” By age 39, I began to lose my joy.
But life doesn’t pause when we need a breather, so I continued on in a challenging career trajectory as a business owner and training consultant requiring extensive travel, deadlines to meet, and training manuals to write, all while trying to stuff my free spirit into a corporate world for which I was not suited. One opportunity after another came my way adding to my career credentials but causing more and more exhaustion, more and more pain.
Doctor after doctor had no answers for me until finally, in 1994, I was diagnosed with CFS or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And because CFS was not known at the time as having an underlying viral cause, I was misdiagnosed with a mental illness, flagging me as a psychiatric patient and beginning over 20 years of prescription drugs.
Throughout my 40s, I continued to function mentally at a high level. To drag myself out of bed and just make it through the day, I lived on coffee. It became my ‘normal.’ All kinds of new symptoms continued to appear, but I plowed on and went after what I thought was my dream job. I was hired by a major developer and builder of new home communities in the U.S. to take their new design center project from blueprint to completion and through all facets of finishing interior design. My long term plan to build a better life for myself and my daughter–without her dad–had begun to come together.
I became a single mom. Ashley was eager for college, and I continued to build a more secure future for both of us. But as the momentum for my personal success moved me forward, my body was barely holding together. My medical history with 2 major in-hospital surgeries, then one as an out-patient just before I turned 50, greatly contributed to a physical breakdown which was becoming more and more difficult to hide. My heart was a ticking time bomb waiting to blow. And that’s exactly what happened in December of 2002.
Boom!
The physical and emotional aftermath of emergency heart bypass surgery at 53 was devastating. I could no longer work at the same level as before. I lost everything: my home, my rental properties, even my car. They all disappeared. The professional and financial stability that had taken years to build for myself and my daughter was gone. I became paralyzed in a way I couldn’t understand or comprehend much of the time.
Hours and hours of talk therapy with psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists only resulted in new drugs and more coping strategies listed on a blackboard or the next handout, but nothing that stopped my downward spiral. I couldn’t seem to make sense of what had happened to me. I had bottomed out with no where to go and looking upward seemed beyond impossible.
My very actively creative mind felt imprisoned in a body that had failed me. It was a nightmare which I finally gave up trying to escape. Instead, I accepted the diagnoses of multiple mental and physical conditions and popped pill after pill prescribed by multiple doctors until I no longer recognized myself. It was many years before I understood how much my nightmare was fueled not only by the number of drugs I was prescribed, but the number of times the drug protocols were changed by the next psychiatrist or therapist.
This 2008 photo oddly depicts the reality of the fog I was in
Throughout the next 5 years, I continued to write music and play the occasional church service or gig, then the inconceivable happened. I stopped playing my piano. Like turning off a faucet, the newest drug took away any desire I had to sit on the bench, position my hands on the keyboard, and play simply for the pleasure of it as I had almost everyday for over 50 years. I no longer had a reason to get up in the morning. What was left of my life, along with my music, vanished.
Why is fear rarely a motivator? Why do some folks thrive, while others only survive? Could it perhaps be a completely random, unplanned, didn’t see it comin’ kinda’ thing that propels us into motion? What was that one moment that magically changed the very trajectory of my own life? Here’s what happened to me.
My Pivot Point
In August of 2012, I was admitted into the hospital so that my psychiatrist could purge me of all the psychiatric drugs I was on for chronic depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD, anxiety disorder and panic attacks. His plan was to then start over with a new drug regimen he thought would be more effective. He ordered a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) to explore the possibility of a Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis, but what happened next was a total surprise to everyone. Unknown to me, I had been offered a pivot point. I had been given a gift, the beginning of a hunger for knowledge that would propel me toward fulfilling a purpose I was completely unaware of at the time.
I woke up the next morning with no headache after years of migraines and new daily persistent headaches or NDPH. Until that day, I had forgotten how incredibly wonderful I could feel without a headache. I was still quite physically ill, butthe high I felt from no head pain was a peek into a ‘high’ I wanted to keep experiencing. I literally woke up. Even with the new drugs I was given, I had glimpsed enough of the old me to know that I could rise once again out of the fog of the previous 10 years.
I was so driven in chasing that ‘high,’ the feeling of being in control of my own life again, that I talked my best friend and his mom into pooling our resources to build a new house not far from the one I had lost 10 years before. Sherry was back and moving forward once again with the firm belief that I could purge myself of every drug I had been prescribed. I was on a mission.
The Road Back
I read books and researched every breadcrumb I came across, made a few missteps, got back on track, and gradually progressed. When my psychiatrist refused to help me become drug free through diet, I did more research and read more books. It wasn’t until Feb. of 2015 that I was finally able to taper off Zoloft, the last anti-depressant I will ever take, and 15 years of levothyroxine for thyroid disease. I was no longer on insulin for type 2 diabetes. Gone were the cholesterol and high blood pressure meds, inhalers for asthma, opioids for migraines and severe anxiety; medicines for heart disease, GERD/acid reflux, bi-polar disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome (now known as MECFS), fibromyalgia, and for several other disease labels I’ve thankfully forgotten. But that wasn’t enough to get me where I wanted to go.
In November of 2015, I received an email from Dr. Deanna Minich, founder of the Food and Spirit Practitioner Program from which I received my first practitioner certification. Dr. Minich was holding a book in the email. I read that the forward was by Dr. Alejandro Junger, M.D., a high profile cardiologist and detoxification specialist with a dynamic healing story of his own. The book was Medical Medium. I immediately ordered it based on her recommendation. Little did I know the impact the book would have on my life when it arrived on November 10, 2015.
The author, Anthony William, clearly explained why I was ill. But most importantly, he gave me answers as to how I could get better. Within 6 weeks after starting his recommended targeted supplements along with eating much more highly nutritious food, I had spurts of renewed creativity, clarity in my writing, and a newfound sense that something good was about to happen in my life.
After a few more weeks, I began to regain my lifelong joy in music. I started playing my piano and guitar, composing and singing again. As an intuitive as well as classically trained musician, I found that the creative space I ‘tuned’ into to receive inspiration for my music, was exactly the same conduit I could use as a practitioner to ask and receive answers for others who struggled with physical and emotional challenges. For the first time in my life, I understood my purpose and the answer to why chronic illness had been a necessary part of my life path.
My Life Today
Today, as an Energy Healing Facilitator/Practitioner/Medical Intuitive, I use several modalities along with the ability to psychically hear, see, and scan the body to detect and visualize areas of imbalance, clear what’s necessary, then align and bring the body back in balance. Prior to November 10, 2015, I was still struggling to get through each day of pain, exhaustion and the constant gnawing of “Why am I sick? Why can’t I think? Why can’t anyone tell me what’s wrong?” I no longer have to wonder. I found answers.
There’s no quick fix for regaining health. In order to truly heal your physical body, you must heal your spirit. How? By choosing to be happy, no matter your situation. No small ask, that. And it has little to do with wishing to feel better, but everything to do with believing you are in control of your own thoughts. And most importantly, redefining what ‘normal’ is for you.
The infinite wisdom that is God or The Universe or Source, however you wish to identify the mysterious realm of the non-physical of which we are all are a part, is available as guidance to all of us. And a big part of that guidance is to keep asking questions, read books, do your own research, and find a physician who will listen to you. I remain open to the expertise and experience of my doctor for the necessary medical tests and medication I may need for acute conditions. And so should you.
My novel, WHEN THE EXTRAORDINARY BECOMES THE ORDINARY, includes much of my journey as a professional musician and survivor of dark times. My hope as a practitioner and a writer of words is to assist others who have been profoundly and chronically ill in finding a level of hope and health in which they can again live their lives and fulfill the purpose that awaits them.
My road to recovery was long and at times exhausting, both physically and mentally, but it doesn’t have to be the same for you. So as life happens, we must live, adjust, evolve, then live some more, and constantly create a ‘new normal.’ It’s the dance of life. Your dance and mine may be different, but along all our paths are pivot points, chances to choose the next fork in the road. Prepare to be surprised!
In the prologue my fictional author, CR Rozier, ponders: Is it possible I wrote my life into existence? Is reality simply a construct of the imagination? Once written, are my characters real? In the voices of East Tennessee, the mystery of the Smoky Mountains, and through events in the life of her protagonist, Celia Rose, we are led to accept as real what at first glance seems impossible. Perhaps we can change what we believe to be our reality if we allow the extraordinary to become the ordinary. In other words, believing is seeing.
On my decades long journey from professional musician to intuitive healing facilitator, I unknowingly followed strategically placed breadcrumbs along the way which eventually led me to my purpose in this life: to learn to be of service to others. That would have been a tall order in the ego-centered world I began in as a performer/entertainer, so it took every one of the mental and physical traumas and weird little twisty curves to get me past who I thought I was, to the woman I’m supposed to be. And though I’m still on the trip, the road is straighter and much easier to navigate now.
My sweet daughter Ashley, who has heard nearly every one of my funny, crazy, and unbelievable stories never faltered in her constant nudging to write a book. Without her belief in me, I’m not sure I could ever have mustered the energy and the years it took to type all the words necessary for the telling of Celia’s story. And while many of the events in Celia’s life also happened in mine, I will admit to softening the rough edges of the facts somewhat. After all, Mom must save a few surprises for another book. (wink, wink)
I also wrote this book for every person struggling with chronic illness and circumstances you may feel are beyond your control. You are not alone, but I know how it feels to believe you are. After I descended into dark times, summoning the will to re-emerge into the land of the living was overwhelming at times in the extreme, but it can be done. And while your path and mine may be very different, and I can’t save you from heartbreak, or disappointment, or the abuse that perhaps is unfortunately part of your path, maybe I can help you get through it. Maybe this book can help you believe that whatever your circumstances are, you don’t have to stay stuck in a past which doesn’t serve you.
Do you believe what you see, feel, and touch is real? And what does ‘real’ mean to you? If we were sitting together in the same room, our perception of everything there–the furniture, curtains, pictures on the wall, rugs on the floor–would be very different. We would focus our attention on things that the other didn’t notice simply by sitting on opposite sides of the room. We would attach different levels of significance to the same conversation or to a random comment made by the other person.
Imagine if we based our beliefs and view of the world entirely on our experience of sitting in one spot in that room. What a small box, some would say a prison, we would create for ourselves. This self-induced confinement could keep us paralyzed and trapped in situations that we may have the power to change if we switched to another perspective, or simply moved to another chair in the room.
We are products of our childhood, which forms the foundation of our beliefs. I grew up in East Tennessee and although I have lived elsewhere most of my life, I still hear those voices. I hear the familiar, odd turn of a phrase probably originating in the Appalachian Mountains generations ago from Scottish-English ancestry. But I also hear baked into the language, prejudices that I knew even as a child were wrong. As I traveled and lived in different parts of the country, my perspective began to change–that is, I changed my chair in the room. Baked-in beliefs aren’t immovable, but how we react to them is until we dig deep enough to identify the root of each one.
My life has always been one of extraordinary highs followed by extraordinary lows. But it was only in hindsight that I was able to sift through all the accumulated emotional baggage to see the bigger picture. The lows weren’t a string of failures but opportunities to pivot toward a more positive outcome. Even hurtful, heartbreaking events were proper and necessary to uncover what I needed to change to finally get to my truth. But my hope for you is that you will find yours more easily.
What if that which you view as is–or what you see, feel, and touch–is simply a vehicle in this physical world to evolve in consciousness as an eternal spirit who has chosen to have this physical experience? What if you can travel together with other non-physical beings in a dimension of perception beyond time and space, with the freedom to explore new ideas, different points of view, and novel experiences? And what if it’s as simple as being open to the endless possibilities offered in a realm where thoughts become things and love is the prime directive?
Please read these words as a gentle nudge to re-imagine your life. If you’re unhappy, try letting go of past unhelpful memories that don’t serve you. Change your thinking about your situation. Thoughts are more powerful than you know, so try sitting in a different chair in the room. Open the door within yourself to the possibility that what you may think is absolute and immovable, isn’t.
You are one spark in the infinite totality of All that Is, Source, The Divine Power, The Universe, The God Consciousness. The answer is not ‘out there’ but inside you, inside all of us. Close your eyes. Ask a question. Prepare to be surprised!
The premise for a book can often appear out of nowhere, random and unconnected to any previous thought or idea. But sometimes the Universe sets up an opportunity for a story to be told ‘way down the road.’ We may not understand at the time just why this needs to be, but I guarantee that a nugget of knowing will reveal itself as to the true motivation soon enough. It’s how the unseen realms work. Right? You bet.
In 2006 I wrote a song called I Knew Your Daddy, Little Girl. It was a true story, prompted by the daughter of a cousin of mine getting in touch with me in the early ’90s completely out of the blue. (That part of the tale is worth a short story itself.) But it was years later after the daughter, Chelle Rose, and I became close that I learned through her retelling of her life as ‘the little girl’ the all too real tragedy of her father’s life. A life that had been only whispered about for far too long in my mother’s large family–one that I had previously never understood as I searched my memory to connect the bits of gossip that flowed to me through the years.
In fact, it unearthed the swampy underbelly of the sordid mess of my cousin’s parentage, unacknowledged and twisted to the point of not knowing just who or what to believe. Through the years my anger surfaced, bit by bit, about how the truth had been covered over, until it finally bubbled up to the surface in the song. This story had to be told. And my way to do that at the time was writing lyrics and a melody, performed with a gutsy delivery in such a way to convey the rawness of what really happened in a story that began with child abuse.
Fast forward to 2023. I was drifting through my imagination one afternoon trying to think of a great title for a new book when it popped in my mind. Of course! The perfect title had already been literally recorded in my brother Barry’s Purple Garage Recording Studio in 2006. I played piano and sang the partially produced demo, and Barry played the rest of the instruments, exceedingly well, I might add. The basic story in the song is true, with some extra drama, to be sure. But to flesh it out properly, I needed a murder (not in the original story). And…I needed to watch it unfold in the eyes of the memories of a little girl.
So here we are. Another adventure into who we are as imperfect human beings, stumbling through life as if it may be our last. I look forward to the journey all the way to the end–an ending I already know–but what happens in between? What twists and turns will lead us to why The Universe set up this book 18 years ago? I can hardly wait to find out. I invite you to join me for the rest of the story of I Knew Your Daddy, Little Girl.
P.S. In 2015, my cousin (the Daddy in the song) called me–again out of the blue–to set the record straight as to why he acted toward me the way he did all those years ago. That confession has died with him. He’s now in the realm of complete understanding and love. Play on, sweet piano man. ❤ Stranger than fiction? Life always is. 😉
Chelle Rose & Sherry (Sherri) King aka S.A. King 2016
Chapter 1 Innocence
Memories. Snatches of smells, sounds, feelins.’ A dog barkin’ in the distance. A hand touchin’ my face. The smell of roses. A scream. It was the scream that woke me up. Did I scream? Or was it somebody else? Then nothin.’ No memory of what happened next.
I was 6 years old. I had never heard agony before. I guess in an earlier time, I would have heard that sound if mama was giving birth at home, but we were city suburb folks. As I remember it now, it was like the sound of a hurt animal. At least that’s how my brain translated it. But now I think I know what–who–it was. It was my cousin.
That was the first summer Mama left me for a week with her oldest brother’s family. They lived in a small town outside Knoxville. For the longest time, I thought it was far, far away, not just 20 miles down the highway. Bein’ shipped way off to another town made the trip every summer seem more special.
It was also in that same year–1956–that the Doyle boy was murdered. That’s what I figured out after I was grown. Little girls don’t get to hear the gory details, not from my mama, anyway. Funny how she thought I wouldn’t hear what happened from the neighbors. But adults forget that children tend to linger longer than necessary when there’s whisperin’ and shushin.’ They know when there’s a story percolatin.’ Kinda’ like they can feel it bubble up from the dirt where it really belongs, buried and forgotten. But the only buryin’ that summer was James Donald Doyle or JD as he was called after he was killed. He was reduced to a couple of initials, poor thing. Jimmy Don one day, then JD the next.
But the thing that’s always bothered me is the way the details got covered over. I would say normally, if the sheriff’s son gets himself murdered, that sheriff is gonna’ be hot on the trail of somebody, even if it’s the wrong person. But JD’s daddy just sorta’ stopped lookin’ altogether. Very puzzlin.’
JD and I weren’t buddies even though he lived right across the street from us ‘cause he was 6 years older than me. But I remember how he played boogie woogie piano. I had just started piano lessons, so anybody who played with their left hand flyin’ was already at the pinnacle of piano-playin’ as far as I was concerned. And JD could fly…high!
He would sit down on the piano bench, look for the peddles–and bein’ an extra short fella’–scooch forward, then his left hand would take off. Just before his right hand joined in, he would look at whoever was watchin’ and smile a big one. Looked like his lips grew twice as big just to make room for that giant smile. Wonder what he looked like just before he was murdered? Guess I’ll never know.
JD’s mama was a big woman. Big as in weight, not tall though. Prob’ly why JD himself was so short. But unlike his mama, Mildred, he was skinny. A skinny, short, piano playin’ fella’ doesn’t generally fare well when it comes to packs of other little boys. Children can be brutal to the runts in their midst. And so it was for poor JD.
Except for his piano playin,’ I’m not sure what I remember about the actual boy, but I do remember the drips and drabs of what became the saga of the Doyle family troubles. It was like watchin’ a slow-movin’ movie right across the street. And since I couldn’t watch every hour of the day and night, I wonder now how much action I missed.
After JD died, I became a kinda’ stand-in kid for Mildred who was alone most of the time. The piano that JD had played stood in the livin’ room untouched, so I decided it needed playin’ once in a while. It was a tall upright piano made of dark oak wood, similar to the look of the old oak desks in our grammar school. Somehow you could see the history of everybody that had touched the wood like an invisible signature. “Jilly sat here.” That’s me, Jilly Marie King. That’s not who I am now. But I’ll get to that later.
Sometimes after school, starting around the 4th grade, I would tell my mama that I was goin’ visitin,’ and then I would run across the road to see what Mildred was up to. She always had one project or another under construction. Could be makin’ food, or sewin’ curtains, or tendin’ to her flowers. Whatever she was doin’–bein’ the very curious child that I was–I saw Mildred as a wealth of learnin.’ And to me, every lesson was fun. But the cakes…well…took the cake.
Mildred Lou Doyle was an artiste, a true sculptress of elaborate creations ordered by local folks for birthdays and such. Tasty white vanilla and chocolate 2 or 3-layer cakes were the canvas for her art, mainly roses, big and small, and every size in between. Red, yellow, pink, lavender, blue. Any color she could conjure up became roses that were then carefully and strategically arranged on top of swirled to perfection buttercream icing. And I was her very willing student.
She taught me to blend food coloring into a mound of clay-like, sweet marzipan candy until the perfect color saturation was achieved. Sometimes a very picky customer gave her a Happy Birthday napkin or a dessert plate to match back to, but never fear–Mildred was a natural when it came to color. She lived in it…literally.
Her entire kitchen screamed color. Turquoise appliances and red everywhere. Cherries on all the kitchen towels with heaps of brightly colored fruit on the tablecloth covering her white formica kitchen table with red chairs. The countertop was white too and a perfect background for her ceramic fruit covered canisters for flour, sugar, tea, coffee, and a few cute little cherub faced salt n’ pepper shakers that seemed to be there just for fun. I guess she wanted to be able to see the food instead of another pile of fruit or cherries, so her plates were white. It was like she needed all that goin’ on to fill up her life. And when I was there, my young eyes always had somethin’ interesting to look at. Somethin’ to stop my mind from wonderin’ about other things that were prob’ly none of my business.
Anyway, I always felt like I was inside the pages of mama’s big heavy, 3-ring binder, Betty Crocker Cookbook when I was in Mildred’s kitchen. Brightly colored and very detailed pictures of what a final dish or dessert should look like when the recipes magically morphed into real food, fueled my dreams of makin’ a Baked Alaska, or a Lady Baltimore Cake. Heck, I wouldn’t have known a fig if it bit me on the butt, but I knew it was worth findin’ ‘cause it was in the filling of the Lady Baltimore. And although Mama was a great home cook, she stuck with lemon meringue pie or caramel iced chocolate cake. Not very pretty, but tasty all the same. So a short jaunt across the street took me into a world as close to Betty Crocker as I was gonna’ get.
To get back to the makin’ of the cakes…after I got the color just right, Mildred would guide me as I made each delicate marzipan petal in the correct proportions that would produce the perfect rose. You see, each petal formed the rose from the inside out. Made me feel like I actually caused a rose to bloom as it got bigger and bigger with each petal. Then I learned to fill out my little creation with bright green leaves carefully tucked around the big rose juuuh-st right.
Of course, my little roses didn’t make it on the big cakes. But Mildred, in her wisdom, always had a cupcake or two for me to practice on. I thought it was a shame that so much work disappeared in only a few bites when I was done. But that didn’t slow me down as I bit into my rose and that thick buttercream icing. I knew there would always be other cupcakes with endless combinations of colors waitin’ across the street when I took a notion to visit the next time.
I never saw Mildred eat much of anything, but she had plenty of time to figure out how to keep her weight up with Sheriff Doyle being gone so much and JD being her only kid and him gone altogether. But not once during all those days I sat at her kitchen table did she tell me that JD had been adopted. I had heard talk, of course, but mama always told me that JD was gone, so let that question lay unless Mildred decided to talk about it. I liked Mildred and didn’t want the darkness I would sometimes see pass over her face to get stuck there like a mask, so I waited patiently to hear from her mouth about that part of the story. But she kept that tidbit to herself. So, I had to watch the big story unfold from across the street.
Speakin’ of darkness…there was another mighty interesting visitor to the Doyle house. You could see an ugly mask set in like plaster on the face of my Uncle Jib, sorta’ like it would crack if he laughed too much. Come to think of it, when he did laugh it didn’t ring true. Too loud and quickly lost in that scowl again. And I could never figure out why he visited the Doyle house during the day from time to time.
Uncle Jib lived quite a distance down the road and would rarely take the time to come across the street to visit mama who was his sister, for gosh sakes. He’d just pop in and pop out over there when the Sheriff wasn’t home, and nobody said a word–at least that I heard. And if I caught sight of him comin’ out of her house, Mildred always seem to be cryin’ and dryin’ her tears with a wadded up hanky. One of the white ones with red roses she embroidered on the corners. You see, she stayed very busy creating anything to do with roses.
Seems like large families can store up odd shit until it overflows like a stopped up toilet. Trouble is…unless you get rid of what’s causin’ the problem, it will continue to create a mess that has to be cleaned up over and over. And so it was with mama’s family, and by association, the Doyles.
***********
“Jilly!”
“What is it, Henry?”
“Come here a minute. I got my shoelaces all goobered up!”
“O…kay…don’t move! I’m on my way!” slowly rolling the office chair away from the desk.
Goobered up. He’s so funny. If I couldn’t see the humor in our situation…well…don’t go there, Jilly. Not helpful.
Look at him, sittin’ there paralyzed by shoelaces, for heaven’s sake!He’s so happy most of the time, though. When I look into his eyes, I see more than most people do. Growin’ up with an older brother who seemed younger than me was just the way it was. But what happened when he was only 10 years old now somehow covers up the ‘what was.’
I know he thinks I’m sittin’ at my computer conjuring up a character that’s him, his story, his life. And he’s right. How could I not tell that story? So much needless suffering all because of one man. Henry honey, you deserve to be heard, especially now when you can’t string together enough words to make a sentence.
Okay. Henry’s un-goobered now. Let’s see if I can get back into the zone. How many times do I settle down to write only to get interrupted a gazillion times. Oh well, that’s life, our life. Settle yourself, Jilly, and get back at it.
***********
My first visit to Uncle Jib’s house didn’t last very long. After I heard that scream in the middle of the night, I took a good look at my uncle the next morning and screamed myself to go home off and on for a few hours. I didn’t stop cryin’ ‘til Mama pulled into the carport. I don’t remember what happened after that, but by the next summer all was forgotten and I was back there at the end of June.
Mama let me wear a new dress this go-round, and I hung out the car window yellin’ to Darlene, my cousin, “I’m wearin’ a new dress! And it cost ten dollars!” I guess it sounded like a lot of money to me. But how would I know? I was only 7.
And so from then on, every summer I visited Darlene and Duane, and Uncle Jib and Aunt Evie, in the town only 20 miles down the road until the year I turned 12. That year the shit hit the fan and I was never to see any of them again–at least in that house–for many years. But it’s funny how people you thought of as part of the past can suddenly show up outta’ nowhere.
***********
When I was little, Mama and Daddy loved to watch The Hit Parade on TV. They would sing along with Gisele MacKenzie and Snooky Lanson and hold me on one lap or another while I clapped. By the time I was 10, that show was replaced by Flatt and Scruggs with some Perry Como thrown in. Perry was boring and except for Earl Scruggs lightning-fast banjo pickin,’ I didn’t care for bluegrass. But what I did like was Rock N’ Roll.
Mama would take me and my brother and sister to the Tooty Fruity hamburger joint, or the big public swimming pool near the Alcoa aluminum plant and give me change to play the juke box. Neil Sedaka’s “Calendar Girl” or “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” or “Runaway” by Del Shannon. I can still taste the chocolate malts and smell the chlorine when I think of those tunes.
The last time I visited my cousins was the summer of 1962. Mama and Aunt Evie decided to meet at the big Alcoa pool, then I would go on from there and save Mama havin’ a trip of 20 miles each way with the 2 younger kids. Duane drove my aunt and Darlene to meet us and we all spent a couple hours of fun in the sun while the mamas talked.
Darlene kept an eye on Tricia and Teeter Tot—Tot for short, as my brother Thomas was called–while Duane watched me dive off the high diving board. I was showin’ off my new 2-piece bathing suit that I was sure made me look much older than 12. I can still picture the way Duane looked when I paddled over to him after an especially good dive. He was cute but always looked like he was dodgin’ a lightnin’ strike. Kinda’ skittish, lookin’ over his shoulder all the time.
“I’m gonna’ kill Daddy before I leave town.” He just threw it out there kinda’ like an afterthought.
“You’re lyin’ Duane. Leave town? You’re not gonna’ leave town or kill your daddy either. Why do you say stuff like that? If your Mama heard you, she’ll kill you!”
“Be quiet, little girl. You don’t know nothin’ about life. You think you do, but you don’t.”
“Well, I know more than you think I do. And quit callin’ me a little girl. I’m not so little anymore.”
Duane looked at me and said, “Yeah, I noticed that.” Then looked away real quick.
“Hey Duane…are you still playin’ piano in that Rock N’ Roll band? I heard you playin’ that upright in y’all’s basement last year. Me and Darlene played it too. Why don’t you and me play a duet when we get to your house? Or you play and I’ll sing. I could be in your band. I’m pretty good.”
“I’ve heard you. You’re good alright, but too young. We don’t want girls in the band anyway. They’re trouble with a capital T. Besides, we’re gonna’ travel around. You can’t do that.”
“I will someday! Yes, I will. You wait n’ see!”
“Listen, Jilly. Stop askin’ questions. I’m eighteen now. I could get into trouble hangin’ around with you. And your daddy would kill me for sure.”
“Mama told you to watch me when I go into the deep end of the pool. I’ll tell if you don’t.”
It was then that it dawned on me why Duane was always tryin’ to get rid of me. He was afraid of how he felt about me, his first cousin. And me bein’ the flirt that I was made things much worse during that summer. But it would be over 50 years until he confessed it. And I was not the person who heard that confession.
That was the last summer I saw him until almost 10 years later. And by that time, I was nothin’ like the pesky little girl that followed him around those summers at his house. I was a young woman who had been livin’ in New York City and snagged a major recording contract. My love of Rock N’ Roll had morphed into an edgy sort of Rockabilly sound. And I was ridin’ high after my first single had hit the Hot Country Singles Chart on Billboard.
It’s funny how the past seems to time fly by when you’re decades away from a memory. And most memories become what you want them to be. Either very bad, or absolute fantasy until they hardly resemble what really happened. But Duane’s smile 10 years later is burned in my memory ‘cause it was the first time I saw him genuinely smile. But what was underneath that smile, deep down inside him, hadn’t gone away. And I was so full of my 21-year-old self that I couldn’t see it–at least on that night. How I acted toward him was downright unfair and stupid. And such was much of my growin’ up. As Rhett Butler said about Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind, “You think you’re still the cutest little thing in shoe leather,” or somethin’ close to that. And as I sit here now relivin’ that portion of my life, I will admit to still owning Rhett’s sentiment. A woman’s vanity does not necessarily die along with her body.
Excerpt from my novel dedicated to Margaret Lillian Rose King, my Mother.~ by Sherry A King
CR Rozier is the fictional author of When The Extraordinary Becomes The Ordinary. Is she real? As real as I am. I have written her (my alter-ego) into existence to reinterpret my life into a novel with enough twists and turns to hopefully keep you interested enough to soldier on to the end. Her characters, many of whom are various aspects of myself, reflect “what was” and “what could have been” in my younger life, and the true events that took me from Knoxville, TN, to NYC, then on to Nashville and a decade as a recording artist.
CR then reimagines my retreat from the world of Country music to the short-lived cocoon of religion, then on to my pursuit of how and why I became chronically ill. All are woven into the path that finally led me to the realms of consciousness I now access for the information and wisdom needed to not only heal myself, but to also serve others who seek healing for both their body and spirit. The simple answer I sought for many years was revealed by the characters in a novel I never imagined I would write, but through CR Rozier, wrote itself.
Using the rich sound of voices only a few generations removed from the Appalachian Mountains, a story emerges of everyday people who, in tragic circumstances, experience the extraordinary: the existence of life in other realms within multiple dimensions in multiple realities, and the possibility that the distant past can illuminate the purpose for the present. And for those who are willing to suspend their beliefs for even a brief moment, the entry to intuitive psychic connection opens where answers await the asking.
In “Reflections,” CR sets the stage for the reader to expand their perspective that reality is as real as we imagine it to be. For opening the door to imagination is what creates the music that becomes our story.
So, is my novel factual fiction, fantasy, or my own alternate existence? You decide.
In 2017 the journey begins. Cades Cove/The Great Smoky Mountains. (Photos by Ashley Smith)
I sincerely hope you enjoy this introduction into When The Extraordinary Becomes The Ordinary.Enter now…
Prologue: Reflections by Charlotte Ray (CR) Rozier
Through the open windows I can hear the waves lapping at the shoreline that borders my home. The slow steady rhythm tells me the lake has settled down this evening after the morning storm. But choppy or serene, I never tire of its constancy of purpose.
Distant bursts of pinks and blues hover above the water as the sun throws the last of its rays across the surface and onto the curve of my piano, the black finish soaking up what’s left. I feel its warmth on my face. So delicious. Seeing clearly with the eyes is not as necessary as one would think. Feeling is everything. But I admit to missing the sight of our resident swan gliding along at this time of day, babies bobbing on her wake.
Charlotte Ray Rozier is my name. My name, not connected to another person or pseudonym. Charles Raymond Rozier served me for a time, but I always felt the need to be me, the woman whose reflection I now see in the mirror with ebony skin, and yes, quite a few wrinkles. I have been Charlotte much longer than I was Charles who none of my current acquaintances or close friends ever knew, but who is still a part of my almost 100 years. We simply never know what surprises life has to offer when we’re young, which makes growing older so much fun.
This room is where the magic happens, where words percolate and bubble up to the surface like old songs. I can almost touch the smooth finish of my piano from my chair and imagine the feel of the vibrating strings as they speak through the wood and travel to the wall of books opposite. It’s like a conversation that I’m strategically placed to interpret. It flows through me, back and forth, as I translate the language. But I give myself too much credit. I’m just the scribe. The magic is in the source.
These days, I comfortably recline in my chair. Sitting up requires extra effort that these old bones don’t like anymore, so writing has become a more leisurely pursuit. The frenetic pace of earlier decades has long since relaxed into this perfect setting to allow my imagination to create with no constraint, no pain in my body, just the unfettered flow of words onto the page.
I’m still living the life I envisioned, filling my days with recording the stories that have been gifted to me from that mysterious source. They have made the money I need to live in this beautiful home with my companion of thirty years along with the faithful couple that have made our lives work. They are my family. The books I have written, my other friends, patiently wait on the bookshelf for the next one to be placed beside them with stories of new generations revealed. But my Simon, and Ellie and her husband Max, are in the here and now. They anchor me.
Lately I find myself in a sort of life review. But instead of remembering the mistakes or heartbreaks of my considerable years, I see those events as adding to my life. All the rabbit trails off my path–and there were many–now seem more amusing than traumatic, happier than sad, best understood as what needed to take place instead of just being random mistakes. Oh, how age changes one’s perspective.
I often think my life has simply been one long-running dream populated with people I’ve encountered but don’t consciously remember. Perhaps they are my inspiration, muses unknown to me until I need them. It doesn’t matter, I suppose. My characters belong to the reader, not the writer. And whoever they are will live on through the words I string together on each page in yet another adventure that I can have without ever leaving my comfortable studio. These days, that’s a blessing. And who’s to say what is fantasy and what is real? Reality doesn’t always fit within a clear definition. Maybe I’ll stick with fantasy. It’s served me well so far. But every word I’ve written feels real and true even to this day.
Dreaming or awake, we create from what we know, taking our experiences and placing them inside another’s perspective. Long ago I found a way to transport myself into someone else’s story, then another story, and another. And in some miraculous occurrence, maybe I lived those stories in another time and place. I can smell the smells, remember the families, taste his kiss, feel the heartbreak. Whether or not the memories are real, again, doesn’t matter for we create our stories as we live them, don’t we.
I have been interested of late in researching my genealogy, and I did find a Rosier family spelled with an ‘s’ instead of a ‘z’ in East Tennessee where many of my stories situate themselves. Odd how if one searches long enough, an answer can often be found that fits nicely in our narrative. But my life has played out in the Midwest, the heartland, nowhere close to the Appalachian Mountains where my characters live today as vividly as when I set them to paper. While the Mind Mapping chip has been a writer’s leg-up, that gadget blurs the line between what may be true or factual and a prolific imagination. And this is where the controversy lies.
Because Mind Mapping allows me to create almost more quickly than I think, who’s to say my novels are fiction? Maybe they are actual memories lodged in my DNA. And again, perhaps it really doesn’t matter. When we finally reach the collective nexus and accept the nature of reality as our own creation, I suppose all previous bets are off anyway. We will then be in the true land of the Divine, the God Consciousness of which we are all a part. These days in 2052, more folks certainly subscribe to that notion than not. Perhaps this present life is only an aspect of my ‘cosmic’ self. After all, it was only 25 years or so ago that off-planet beings introduced themselves to humanity. So maybe…just maybe…I did live those lives that have somehow broken through from other realms to say, “Hey! We’re here! We’re alive! We are real!”
As night falls, I trust that the stars will come into focus as the backdrop to the full moon. I can’t feel, smell, or touch them, but I believe what my eyes told me when they were sharper. It’s all real in this present moment. And I can enjoy the beauty and wonder of infinite worlds other than this earth through my imagination.
I also know deep within my soul that the infinite eternal is not ‘out there’ but here inside me where I draw from the well of words that bring my stories into the now, as real to me as the fingers on my hands when they touch the black and white keys on my piano.
An old melody, perhaps now too long forgotten, is trying to resurface. The melody feels like it’s peeping around a corner, too shy to show itself. Maybe I never heard it outside my mind. Maybe I created it along with my characters. Odd that I can still craft an entire book but seem to remember very little about my last meal. But melodies are more permanent. They lodge themselves in the cells of the brain becoming hints or breadcrumbs to follow to find the conclusion. A chapter in a book that was carefully closed but with no ending. Hanging out there like words in an unfinished sentence. “And then she…” what? I still don’t know the ‘what,’ and until I pass over into the mysterious realm of Spirit, I suppose I will never know if there’s a difference between the real and the imagined. And that’s delicious too.
What is that song…the one from an Appalachian poet. What is her name? Truly. Truly Elise Frazier. I wrote a short story from a narrative of hers that somehow found its way to me many years ago. A historian–if I remember correctly–tracked her down in the late 1800’s and notated the song as she sang it. How wonderful that it was written down to be enjoyed even now. And how lucky to have been that man listening to the authenticity in her voice as she sang her family’s story. Truly Frazier was able to make her people real and true and beautiful for later generations who yearned to connect with the mystery of her cove in the mountains.
Ah yes…now I can see the notes of the melody play in my mind. When I make my way to the piano and sit down, it will show itself like an old quilt, comforting and warm as I play it once again. These old fingers are perhaps a bit slower, but they still know their way around the piano keys. My ancient voice, however, is now a poor substitute for what I hear in my head.
Oh, how I love to lose myself in a song, surrendering to the trance-like feeling that allows the music to flow. It’s the same feeling that hints at yet another story with new characters and all the emotions that make us human and carry with them that which informs how we navigate our lives. The path is never set in stone but is fluid like a river spilling its banks to create new rivulets, openings to steer our boat this way or that. And the wisdom of my years tells me if needed, we can change course. We can turn the boat around. We can even choose a different boat with each voyage. The possibilities are endless.
I suppose I will never know if there’s a point where we step from the real into the imagined. And that’s delicious too. Eternal surprise is a gift for the writer. It’s only when we refuse to change that the words stop flowing. I once read, “If we don’t open our eyes to what’s really going on in our inner world, how can we ever change our outer world? For change requires an understanding of what to change in the first place.” And I wholeheartedly agree.
Yes, it’s time for another trip. I feel it in my old, aching bones as I slowly walk to the piano and fidget on the bench to find the best spot. As I touch the keys, my fingers settle in the correct position to play in the correct key. I remember the introduction now, and the melody begins. Join me as I sing the next story into existence.
Sweet Lillian’s Fields
(Words and music by Truly Elise Frazier,1878; researched and notated by unknown; music adaptation by AR Pritchard, 2024)
Every mornin’ I still hear John callin,’
Callin’ my name through the mist and the rain.
“Lilly, come here! See the sun on the mountain.
How it shines down on our valley below!
We’ve planted our crops. We’ll raise up our family.
It’s just come to me what these hills they will be
Sweet Lillian’s Fields, Sweet Lillian’s Fields,
Cause you are the reason God gave me to live!
We’ll love each other between these green hills.
Yes, that’s where we’ll live, in Sweet Lillian’s Fields.”
John Jr. came first, then Jack came soon after.
Annie arrived on a cold winter’s morn.
Then we welcomed our Truly. I thought she was stillborn
‘Til I saw those dark eyes open up and looked ‘round
At all of her family, and with ‘nary a sound,
I swear that sweet baby smiled at me and John said,
“It’s Sweet Lillian’s Fields, Sweet Lillian’s Fields,
God gave us this place where these children will live.
We’ll love each other between these green hills.
Yes, this is our home in Sweet Lillian’s Fields.”
The years passed on quickly, and soon all our children
Married and built their own cabins and started to
Raise their own families. And Lord, our green valley
Soon was a place that so many called home.
They came to these mountains and worked in these fields.
So many died here, but many more lived!
In Sweet Lillian’s Fields, Sweet Lillian’s Fields,
In these great mountains we loved and we lived.
We helped each other through laughter and tears
By God’s own sweet grace in Sweet Lillian’s Fields.
The day came I heard my ol’ John take his last breath.
His heart just gave out when he laid down to rest.
Before his eyes closed, he called out, “Sweet Lilly
Set here and speak of ol’ times I forgot
When my hands built this cabin and worked all the crops,
And tell me, Sweet Lilly, how we loved through it all
In Sweet Lillian’s Fields, Sweet Lillian’s Fields.
You were the reason God gave me to live!
We’ve loved each other between these green hills.
Now bury me here, and I’ll love you still.”
Early this mornin’’ I heard my John callin,’
Callin’ my name through the mist and the rain.
“Lilly, rise up! Meet the sun on the mountain!
It’s time now to rest in Sweet Lillian’s Fields.”
The Novel: When The Extraordinary Becomes The Ordinary
“If we don’t open our eyes to what’s really going on in our inner world, how can we ever change our outer world? For change requires an understanding of what to change in the first place.” SA King
Chapter 1
Echoes of The Cove
A breeze from the open window carried a slice of the low setting sun, shooting it across the face of the woman as she settled onto the piano bench. She felt the need to collaborate with her instrument, to place her hands on the keys and make them speak. What drove this need was in her DNA. It was simply who she was.
Just as she raised her hands to move toward the keyboard, a tiny puff of air grazed her ear as if someone whispered a secret in her hair. “What was that?” she wondered aloud as she instinctively reached to smooth back a long strand that had fallen on her face. She touched her cheek, closing her eyes as if remembering a long-ago lover’s kiss and lingered there. A sharp intake of breath brought her back as she tossed her silver hair to refocus her attention. She closed her eyes and instantly framed her new composition as to key, tempo, and mood. Gracefully lowering her hands to the keyboard, she began to play.
The rich black mirror finish of the opened keyboard lid reflected her fingers as they slowly danced across the keys in a steady pattern, like the calming repeated rhythm of ocean waves gently finding their destination. The curve of the grand piano echoed the shoreline, its tightly strung harp the unseen force that created the wavelike motion. The repetition of the melodic phrase was enticing, like being drawn into a familiar story.
This doesn’t feel new. It’s likea beginning with no end, flowing forever forward. “Déjà vu on the piano, the kind that makes you shiver,” she said aloud. A nervous giggle caught in her throat as she felt a chill.
On this day she played not from her usual reading of black notes printed on paper, but freely, intuitively from the deep well of inspiration known to her since childhood. But this melody was different. Haunting, almost other-worldly. It had a life of its own as if it sprang whole into her mind. Was it a memory of a tune she had heard before? Puzzled, she paused, then continued playing. A curious feeling came over her, shooting through her body, like being held in a dream by a lover just out of focus and yearning to see his face.
Just before the sun dipped below the horizon, a whirl of dust particles danced in the last of the sunlight flickering across her hands, adding to the mesmerizing effect of the descending hazy twilight. She closed her eyes and continued to play, becoming one with the music and caressing the keys as if they were alive. Her left hand played a heavier bass line lending a distinct, underlying support to the right hand’s melody. The interweaving patterns like a timeless musical tapestry that the woman increasingly felt was borrowed rather than created. This is not from me.
On she played, as if guided into a dream-like state. Over and over, she repeated the same notes as if her piano had been taken over and was playing on its own. The bass line grew more intense. Celia could feel it booming in her body, as her right hand struggled to counter the pounding of its forward motion, alive and unstoppable. Her hands were on the keyboard, but the keys no longer felt firm under her fingers. They felt alive with purpose. Her trance deepened.
As the room became somewhat out of focus, her present life began to recede as if she had taken a step back to watch as an observer. With closed eyes, she allowed the music to lead her to what felt like a doorway. Open the door. She didn’t know what was beyond the door, but it didn’t matter. Only the forward movement of the music mattered.
Her surroundings faded. A startlingly familiar intense passion, one beyond all reason, began to stir in her, drawing her like a magnet deeper and deeper into a dream-like state. The music continued, reverberating through her as if she was one with her instrument, riding the vibration of the strings to an unknown destination.
With a jolt, the piano vanished! The woman was no longer in the room but speeding through forest shadows, her hands holding fast to the mane of an enormous black stallion, hooves pounding. Confused and terrified, her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath to scream, but no sound would come. She had to go where he would take her, through a stand of trees with limbs jutted out in their path whipping past her face, adding to her terror. She struggled to stay astride. She tried to scream but choked from the force of the wind. As her mind struggled to grasp what was happening, she realized there was nothing between her and the horse’s back, no reins to guide him. She felt the powerful forward motion of the animal beneath her, felt the sweat on his back between her legs, every muscle working in concert to bring her to…what?
He’s waiting for me!
Who’s waiting? was the echo in her mind.
Amid her panic, she suddenly felt an intense rush of all-consuming love, but the pain in her tortured muscles from the punishing ride quickly brought her back to her dire circumstances. Tree branches flew past, barely missing her, forcing her to lie as flat to the horse as possible to avoid being swept to the ground. She screamed, pleading for the stallion to stop, but he knew where he was going. He had been there many times before. Then, as if finally responding to a silent command, the horse’s wild gallop slowed. The woman felt as if her heart was going to leap from her heaving chest from the terrifying ride, but her focus began to shift from survival to relief as the horse came to a full stop. Thoughts sprang from nowhere.
He knows my secret.
She said aloud, “What secret?”
Her breath caught in her throat. He’s waiting for me!
“Who? Who’s waiting? What is this place?!” she asked. The answering voice in her head was gone.
She looked around her. Nothing was familiar. She noticed her hands, still grasping the horse’s mane, were those of a very young woman. Draped over the back of the horse was a long skirt. These aren’t my clothes. The long hair tumbling about her shoulders was a coppery dark auburn. This is not me! She closed her eyes, shook her head, and looked again. Startled by a loud rustling, several birds flew away from the overhead canopy of trees. Then out of the nearby bushes came a bear cub, sniffing the air, followed by a loud warning growl from his mama.
I must get out of here…now!
As if understanding her unsaid words, the horse lurched into a trot. They emerged from the forest into a softly flowing meadow, the waves of grass calmly rolling to their destination. The woman began to settle herself enough to notice the towering mountains all around her, creating a kind of sheltering cove. With the blinding speed of a movie on fast forward, she saw the entire settlement of some 500 souls as they went about their lives. The cabins were scattered over miles of a lush, green valley. Women carried water from icy mountain springs as men put away horses and plows after tilling the rich, black earth. Children played as their mothers called, “Come wash for supper!”
The movie-like vision stopped, and she could now feel the slow rhythm of the mountain cove. The ability to receive this download, this ‘knowing,’ wasn’t new to the young girl. But the 21st century buried self was struggling to emerge and make sense of this place she was hurled into with no warning. Nothing except the surety of the horse’s footing as he carried her through the settlement felt real.
The people she encountered seemed not to notice that the young woman was an intruder who had been thrust into their lives. A few waved as she and her horse trotted past as if they knew her well. Her presence was welcomed and known in this valley. These were her people, and among them was her family. Her mind began to accept that she lived in a cabin with her mother and father. The families of her sister and brothers lived close by. And to all she encountered, she was merely riding her beloved black stallion on a beautiful fall evening.
As they turned toward home, dusk settled on the mountains as the sun slipped behind them casting shadows on the gently sloping meadows below. Memories of her life as a young woman in this time flooded her with the certainty that she had been here before, was supposed to be here now. Her life and the piano with which she began the journey faded with the sun, forgotten. She was now fully in the cove.
She rode along singing her songs of the bear and the deer, the raccoon and salamander, and creatures rarely seen who claimed the land as their own. She sang of the wisdom of the mighty Cherokee who had hunted game in the cove for a thousand years, always respectful of the mountains who offered them sustenance. She sang of the swirling wind that blew the red, gold, and orange leaves of autumn from the trees along the lane to live again in the rich soil under the plow. And she somehow knew she would not be forgotten. Generations to come would hear her songs now echoing among the cabins in the cove—songs of the majestic mountains and the beautiful land nestled between.
Unbeknownst to the young woman, hidden in the songs she sang was a wave of sound weaving its way to a realm beyond time like a tether, calling out to her future self, “Join me. I hold the key you are searching for. In my sorrow, you will find your answer.” One spirit, two lives bound together in an endless loop of searching to fulfill a passion neither would find in their physical worlds but was waiting in the place beyond death.
The horse veered off the lane and again found his stride as he carried the young woman across the valley into the forest, beside streams and rushing rivers as if racing with the swift currents of pure, cold mountain water. Together they smelled the crisp air of the evening, and listened to the cicada chorus rise and fall, and rise again. The stallion’s hooves found the path, their path, and he breathed with her…but this breath was not the animal’s. It was slow, steady, and not labored from running. This was another presence, suddenly surrounding her. He knew her. She could feel him. Who’s there? But only the sound of galloping hooves answered in the clear mountain air.
As the proud stallion slowly came to rest in a clearing illumined by a full moon, an overwhelming feeling of protection and endless love enveloped her. In her mind she heard a chorus of familiar voices–as alive as the animal beneath her–speak as one. “All is as it should be.” These were the souls who had chosen to guard her, calm her fears, and guide her when asked. But on this evening, one presence stood apart from the whole. His ghostly embrace was intimate and caressed her in a way that made her heart race.
I have called you here through the music that carries us through time and beyond. It is the eternal thread that connects us, all of us, as we journey together. Remember who the horse is. He is your guide on a path now destined. You must continue on this path to bring about future events that will shape generations who follow. Remember–what is to come is of your own choosing. Let the music carry you forward.
“Who are you?” she said. “Where are you? I want to see you!” The horse snorted and gently pawed the ground as if to say, Listen!
The voice continued speaking of times she knew nothing of. People long dead, or not yet born. Places they had lived in the past or would live in the future. Together. Always together. A never-ending story of life after life after life. She heard him say aloud, “Call me The Traveler.”
She felt his warm breath in her long auburn hair.
“I am with you in the life you left behind. You know me as a trusted friend who loves you very much. Just know that no matter what happens, I will never leave you. And remember–no one can truly hurt you.”
“Who are you speaking of?”
“Stay near Wahya. He is with you for a purpose. He will protect you. I make you this promise, the child will be born.”
“Child?” My baby!
With a sudden download of memories, she understood what The Traveler was saying. Someone in the cove wished her harm. Someone was trying to prevent her baby from being born. Suddenly she remembered drinking in the deep dark eyes as they devoured her in the twilight shadows, his copper skin and long black hair falling on her face. Wahya, The Wolf. Wahya loved her. Yes, he would protect her.
“But who is it that wants to do us harm? Have I done something to cause this hatred? Please! Tell me!” But The Traveler’s presence began to fade into the chorus of ‘others’ as they backed away.
“Wait! Don’t leave! Don’t leave me here alone. I’m afraid. I…we can’t survive without you. Come back! Come back!!” she screamed.
Without warning, the young woman was wrenched from the cove as if sucked by a vacuum, thrown forward in time, and slammed onto the piano bench. Disoriented and stunned, she opened her eyes to see only the curved raised lid of the grand piano. Gone was the cove, her horse, and the young body free of pain. She was old once again.
The woman began to pound the piano keys in an attempt to recreate the music that she desperately hoped would transport her once again to the cove, to again feel the love of Wahya and the protection of The Traveler. But she was unable to open the passage back.
She fell into a deep well of depression, not able to reconcile where she had been with the mundane life she had come back to. Time would pass and she would fully accept what had happened to her, but in this moment she felt an overwhelming yearning for the cove and a passion she didn’t know existed outside of her music. The piano, the horse, and The Traveler– now intertwined in her story–remained separate as well, each playing a distinct part in a journey she was unaware of before now. Eventually she would be comforted by the inner knowing that all were one, somehow connected by a melody that would lead to her truth being told. But all she felt now was a dark hole in her heart that no amount of music could fill.
In her despair, she cried out for resolution. Touching the piano keys kept her tethered in some mysterious way to the great stallion and their journey together. And somewhere outside of time she heard a distant voice speak. “Don’t resist this feeling, this moment. Play it through to the end.” But there was no end. Only the waves of grass gently rolling to the forest’s edge where their journey began.
In the space of a few hours, Celia Rose Dinwiddie Pritchard revisits her past through memories as a touring musician and recording artist, and all the steps that led to a life that now seems devoid of the music which defined her younger years.
One single event later in that day changes not only Celia but her family and friends as they become inadvertently swept up in a journey of mind and spirit exploration challenging everything they have believed real in their lives.
In a timeless realm of creation where thoughts become things, Celia is transported to 1856 to discover not only who she is, but the legacy which will continue through her daughter, Analisa.
In a final attempt to bridge the world they believe to be real and the unseen world of the non-physical, those close to Celia embark on a journey to recall her spirit that will not only test their sanity but their very definition of reality.
The characters will each follow breadcrumbs placed along their paths to reach a destiny that began before time in a place known as Cades Cove in The Great Smoky Mountains and will awaken to the realization that we on Earth were never alone.
From Sherry: Much of this novel contains actual events from my own life as a professional musician/recording artist/song and storywriter through decades of chronic illness to my life now as a Medical Intuitive. The wisdom which I receive to do my work or write words in a book or music notes on a staff is available to all who intently ask and patiently listen for the reply.
***I have included lyrics from original songs and poetry throughout the book, and also in development is theme music for two of the main characters.
Where to begin…let’s see…ok. The mystery begins in my bathroom. More specifically, the cleaning of my bathroom. If you know me well, you know that cleaning my bathroom is my own personal Hell. Why? I don’t know. It just is. Truth be told, cleaning is a complete have-to for me. I’m a little teensy bit on the obsessive-compulsive side, so I fight to keep my inner anti-cleaning demons from causing me to be ridiculous about NOT wanting to touch unsavory bathroom surfaces. And when it becomes absolutely necessary, I tend to try as much as possible to clean the toilet, for instance, in the dark. I then turn on the light when scrubbed to inspect. Although the sink doesn’t present as much of a problem, I still view it as taking my attention and energy from fun creative things like writing, or looking through 100’s of online pages of fabric, or watching channeling videos, or anything other than cleaning.
So yesterday when I got the urge to thoroughly scrub my sink, I knew I had to go all in to make it shine again before I found an excuse not to. I generally accomplish this by soaking loads of paper towels in cleaning vinegar and covering the entire sink and faucet with them to eat away at whatever while I go back to the next online page of fabrics. I had an interior decorating business for many years, so fabrics are endlessly entertaining, especially since I need new top treatments for the living room. Anyhoo, I also filled a sandwich bag full of vinegar and attached it to the faucet, a trick I learned from the best cleaner I ever employed. That man would enter my home with his knee pads on, ready to fiercely attack every speck of dust and grime. I loved him!. Where is he now that I need him the most? Sigh…
Well, to get back to the story, as an extra added measure I poured vinegar down the drain and closed the stopper. “There!” I muttered to myself. “That should take care of the horror in the trap bend in the pipes too!” You see, that area is almost as bad as the thought of the toilet germs. Now please don’t judge me for poisoning the groundwater with all that extra strength vinegar. I will adequately judge myself later. I honestly try to be a good steward of the environment, but gosh darn it! I’m flawed! There. I admit it. Anyhoo, again…I successfully got my sink to sparkle except for the lingering vinegar smell. I rinsed and rinsed and rinsed. Couldn’t get rid of it. But I soldiered on. Moving on to doing laundry and peeking at fabric in between loads.
All was well the rest of the evening until I realized I had totally sapped my energy reserves. This usually shows up at bedtime with a very restless slumber. So around 6 am I dragged myself out of bed after spotty sleep to go to the bathroom. I never turn on the light for fear of waking up completely, preventing me from getting a bit more sleep. So as I reached for the toilet paper, I remembered that I only had 1 roll in reserve in the sink cabinet. I’d better check. Don’t want to get caught without an extra. So after washing my hands, I reached in the lower cabinet and touched what made me recoil in disgust. A gob of sopping wet toilet paper! I quickly turned on the light, trying to squint through very sleepy, brain-fogged eyes to make out what I had touched.
“Oh. My. God! How did this happen?” I quietly yelled so as not to awaken the rest of the household. I stood trying to make a speedy plan to remove the falling apart roll to the bathroom trash can in order to not drip vinegar on my newly installed Luxury Vinyl Tile bathroom floor. (It’s a stunning glazed tile look of dusty olive green with a touch of a soft, very subtle, undertone of blue-green. I love it! Oh sorry…there I go again.) I managed to get the roll into the trash in tact, then my eyes finally focused on what appeared to be a small mountain of sopping microfiber cloths and sponges, some kind of tall can of hairspray that must have been in that corner for at least 7-8 years, empty containers that I probably kept because they were ‘useful,’ and the original shower head that I replaced almost 10 years ago when we moved into our newly built home. Yuck, and yuck again! All reeked of vinegar. Aha! That’s where the lingering smell came from! A veritable pond, or at least a puddle, of vinegar water, extra strength vinegar water, under my sink!
I began to throw the wet cloths, etc, into a small trash can I retrieved from another room, and other miscellaneous items into the bathroom trash. Oh lordy, the vinegar smell was strong! Then I saw one last item that was a pale petal pink color all crumpled up at the back of the cabinet. What could that be? I managed to grab it before nearly falling over. You see, I’m finding in my 7th decade that stooping over too long causes significant balance problems. So as I unfolded my body, I quickly put the pink thingy in my sparkling sink. A double ‘Oh. My. God!!’ The pitiful crumpled fabric was a favored pair of undies! Pale petal pink undies!! Now I’m in the realm of The Twilight Zone! (For all you who may be too young, it was TV at it’s best, with the most twisted views of reality, endings that blew your mind and planted horrific thoughts that gave you nightmares. Just delicious!)
Back to the underwear. I would never in a million billion trillion years throw undies under my sink! Not ever. Period. Am I losing my grip? I thought. What else have I misplaced that my daughter will find years from now and say, “Poor Mom. She wasn’t herself toward the end.” Nope, nope, not happening. I did not misplace my underwear! So how did it get there? I do not know. But I have noticed of late that my underwear drawer seems to be less overstuffed with underpinnings, so to speak. That’s it! SOMEONE’S BEEN RUMMAGING IN MY DRAWERS!
But today in the daylight, the mystery deepens: there has not been even one itsy bitsy tiny drip from the bottom of my sink into the cabinet below all day. And believe me, I’ve made a concerted effort to make that happen leaving the faucet wide open, flashlight in hand, searching for telltale signs that the story isn’t over. But nothing, nada, zilch. So I’ll post an update if more undies appear in odd places, but for the time being, I think I’ll blame the incident on an especially close friend of mine who went to the great beyond in 2011. He would have thought this was hilarious. Well, step on back, buddy! Leave my drawers alone! (The urge to keep going with this slightly naughty pun is so irresistible, but I’ll stop for now. Giggle, giggle, giggle…)
And with that, hold onto your drawers and have a wonderful weekend! 🙂
How many times can my heart break after losing a precious furbaby? Over and over and over. And each time feels like the first. But what those precious beings leave with me is another layer of unconditional love and acceptance for all my quirks and shortcomings as a guardian. They are why I’m an animal communicator with all the difficult lessons, and I hope wisdom, learned from experiencing the life and passing of yet another life into the realm of Spirit. The realm of Spirit. I will be met by all of them again. And the first one will be Buddy.
Buddy and Mommy, the day of his transition on April 21, 2022
I’ve had the privilege of sharing this life with many precious dogs and cats that asked almost nothing from me, only to be fed and loved. And I remember each one like it was yesterday, not over a span of fifty years. Funny how I struggle to remember the good times when all the guilt and self-blaming pops up instead. Why couldn’t I always have known how to better feed them, or respond to their basic instincts without cross words? What in my makeup as a human ever gave me the right to treat them as anything but the gorgeous, elegant, noble creatures they are? Who am I to question the magnificence of creation of which we are all a part? Buddy is me. I am Buddy. We are both a part of the whole.
Animals that we bring into our home to live with us are only ‘below us’ in height which is why I look through their eyes to understand them better. Imagine living in a world of giants speaking words we mostly can’t comprehend, but can immediately feel the emotion those words carry with them. We would see a lot of legs and feet and wonder why everyone is angry with us all the time. Something as simple to humans as pulling a strip of packing tape off a roll could scare the bejesus out of us if we didn’t know anything about packing tape. (Buddy was especially frightened by the noise of packing tape.) Or placing our litter box near a stinky drain could repulse us enough to stop using the box altogether. (I witnessed this through a cat’s eyes once. He showed me a foul smell wafting by. This proved true when his guardian got close enough to the floor to smell it. Lol) And how confused would we be if the human we loved yelled because we couldn’t wait any longer to get her attention to let us out to potty? (I’m guilty. I’m guilty. I’m guilty! Confession doesn’t make me feel any better though.) It’s up to us as human guardians to interpret their simple language, the signs that seem so obvious after the fact. And to remember that most of what becomes a problem for animals is because animals often exhibit symptoms mirrored from their humans. In other words, before you yell at your animal, look inside yourself for the answer to their behavior. You can bet that’s where it’s coming from.
Buddy adopted us in late winter of 2014. He had been rescued on the coldest night of the year sitting in the middle of the road waiting as if he trusted that someone would come along and find him. And she did. A very kind and very pregnant woman named Micki scooped him up and took him home where he, being new to the pack, promptly lorded over the resident bulldog. She had her hands full with a new baby coming soon, so after exhausting all possibilities of finding the dog’s human(s) failed, she eventually found a woman who fostered chihuahua rescues. That person then reached Terry (we had already adopted another chi rescue). That’s how we came to hear about a sweet little chi mix who needed a home asap.
Our Jakie, rescued from a puppy mill several years before, had just passed, and my little longhair chihuahua shadow who wouldn’t eat when he first arrived unless I stood nearby, had left such a hole in my heart that I put my foot down. “No more dogs. Luke is enough!” Luke, a minpin/chihuahua mix, had been with us for four years and gave us enough love for several dogs. So I was firm…until I saw a photo of the sweet trusting face of Buddy. (Terry thought that all dogs had been called buddy at one time or another, so Buddy it was!) I melted like a triple scoop ice cream cone in 100 degree weather when he came around the corner of Micki’s sofa. Buddy chose us as his pack and I couldn’t say no. But Buddy made his preferred human choice very apparent almost immediately.
Buddy only relaxed his vigil when Terry was in the room. Of course, he never knew him as anyone but ‘Daddy.’ Grandma and Mommy often called out ‘Terry,’ but Buddy only payed attention when he heard ‘Daddy.’ He would raise up from his bed in the living room and watch Daddy’s every step from one room to the next. He wouldn’t move from his bed unless Daddy disappeared around the corner in the hallway, then he quickly followed making sure that he knew where his person was. He posed like a sentry in Grandma’s room waiting for his Daddy to exit the bathroom. It was almost like he held his breath until he saw the tall human sit down near him, or better yet, invited him onto his lap or in the giant dog bed that Daddy also slept in. It was Buddy’s job to keep tabs on Daddy.
His job was especially difficult when Daddy twice disappeared from the house for several weeks in 2018. Buddy never understood why he and Luke had to stay at Ashley and Jessica’s house. Neither dog knew about the brain surgery or first stroke that happened shortly after, but they did understand that Grandma and Mommy were exhausted and very worried about Daddy. And they knew better than Mommy did that they would be back in Daddy’s bed eventually. And boy! Were they happy when Ashley and Jessica brought them back home!
My sense was that Buddy heightened his vigilance after Terry came home each time from the hospital or in-patient rehabilitation in 2018. After Lukie passed in 2020, his job became even more important. And Buddy stepped up to the plate and filled the void with the biggest heart imaginable. I whispered to him minutes before he transitioned in our living room with everyone gathered round, “Wait for me. I will see you soon. Mommy loves you.”
Are you waiting for me, Buddy, tail wagging, twirling in the middle of the room? Yes. I know you are. For you are Mommy’s little boy!
Buddy, aka Budreaux, luxuriously draped in the blanket which years later accompanied him into the Great Beyond!
I looked at the time on my Kindle but couldn’t quite focus through my tears. It was Mother’s Day around 3:30 or 4 am. Our Lukie was gone. I had given up on sleep, and I could hear Terry sobbing in the living room, his Mom’s voice low and soothing. I started to scroll through YouTube videos for some words of comfort. All my meditating and redirecting my thoughts that I constantly tell everyone else to do…clients, family, anyone that will listen…was not helping. “It” was coming. The thing that I dreaded most was welling up in my chest and throat. Since before I cared to remember, it seemed to be waiting to burst out, spew forth from what I thought of as my emergency face. You know, the one that looks as though you’re in total control of the situation, and allows you to spring into action when everyone else around you is paralyzed, unable to form a plan. Yes, that face. It’s the same face that alerted a doctor many years ago that I was living with PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. I knew if I “went there,” the emotions would overtake me. I couldn’t let that happen. It was too painful. But if you had asked me at the time of the diagnosis, almost 20 years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to name it. “It.” (Thought I’d go ahead right now and name it, you know, get ahead of it.) So I would go to the place where I could handle “it.” The place where my emotions were dialed down. Waaayyy down.
The day before Mother’s Day was when the decision had to be made that we had been dreading, but knew was coming: saying goodbye to our sweet little min-pin Lukie. He and our other furry dog companion, Buddy, were firmly attached to Terry and had been a cornerstone of Terry’s recovery in 2018-2019 from brain surgery and 2 subsequent strokes. I knew the separation would heavily impact him, and I had been living with the guilt of not being able to pinpoint Luke’s underlying problem from the symptoms I saw and felt. After all, an animal communicator should…well…no more should haves and could haves.
In February, we had opted for our vet to remove the malignant mass in his abdomen and gave our permission to not proceed with the surgery if it looked as though the malignancy had metastasized. But Dr. Ben believed he may have gotten it, so we looked forward to many more months with our sweetie. And for a few weeks after the surgery, he was back to himself, very vocal and with that stare that spoke volumes if only we could have understood; if only I could have understood. I’m supposed to be able to “hear” what he was saying. Unfortunately, less than 2 months later, the signs were back and yes, there was another tumor. For a while, the pain medicine and prednisone gave him a good quality of life, but I had to finally face what I knew was true. It was time to let him go, to say goodbye.
My daughter Ashley, a vet tech for many years, came to our house with her partner, Jessica who I love as my second daughter, and met up with our vet, Dr. Ben Ealing, who had already arrived. Ben and Ashley are close friends, work together, and occasionally perform their music as a duo. Together their obvious love for animals and music creates a very comforting energy. Ashley suggested that we send Luke off to his new adventure outside in the sunshine on our patio, and because she was and is Lukie’s love, it was perfect that we said goodbye with Ashley assisting Dr. Ben.
It was a beautiful experience, and I held my emotions together through everyone else’s tears until the middle of the night. And then as I scrolled through videos, I saw a new one from Matias De Stephano. His is a fascinating story of remembering many previous lives in which he was taught the construction of dimensions and how they relate to form the reality of our eternal lives. I’m sure I watched several episodes of his Gaia series, Initiation, at least 4 or 5 times trying to understand the basic geometry, but this video was different. He was singing what seemed to be a meditation. I didn’t recognize the language of the words, but it didn’t matter. Music has always been the language that’s most important to me, the language I understand.
Since I was born in this life, and I’m sure in many realities and other dimensions, I have been a musician. As a composer and songwriter, melody is like a smooth sailing boat on the waves of underlying currents of chords and passing tones creating for us an emotional experience of who we are here on Mother Earth and certainly on other worlds in many universes. We are pure frequency. We are music.
So I listened to Matias sing. I remembered him saying that we are not separate from Earth, we are Earth. Connected to Her, rooted to Her. Our bodies will return to be recycled to continue Her evolution. We are Her. We are one with every being and consciousness at every level. We are each other. We are All That Is.
I then felt sorrow, visceral heart-rending sorrow that bubbled up from places I thought were clear. Vestiges, stray bits and pieces that were left behind in my effort to move my journey forward. I finally said goodbye to the guilt from 35 years ago, when because of her dementia, I had to make the horrific decision to place my 60 year old mother in a nursing home. I mourned my 30 year old sister’s mysterious death only 3 years later. I mourned my heartbreak from my first marriage, and the guilt from my second marriage. And I let go of the guilt that I feel knowing that I can’t save the world. I can’t save every single person who is hurting physically and emotionally that asks for my help. I embraced that I am not a savior, but a participant in this dance of creation that I call my life.
The night before we said goodbye to Lukie, I experienced a vivid video-like vision in my meditation. It looked like a visual effect revealing from the top down a gift box. It was very bright as it revealed itself. A wrapped gift with a rose woven in the bow. It flashed a message then vanished, but I didn’t catch the message…until I heard Matias sing. Luke’s passing was a gift that allowed me to open up the box of sorrows still left to be released. Songs were the vehicles that I was very familiar with in my life as a singer, my primary way of communicating with the hearts of my audience on a level that I didn’t understand for many years. I now know that music is my way of connecting to Universal Love and Laws of Creation.
Luke’s passing and the memory of his sweet face will always remind me that our animal companions are here to help us connect to that often missed part of ourselves that is a mirror of creation, our ability to create who we are and can be. Luke is me, and I am him. We are One.
In 1993 I went to a product seminar about detoxing. Specifically about our need to eliminate waste or poop. It was quite enlightening about the amount of the crap that we tote around. Someone told the old story about John Wayne’s 10 lbs of accumulated waste in his colon at the time of his death. I still shudder to this day imagining that autopsy. Eeeeeewww! Anyway…the speaker went on to talk about the wisdom of children spending adequate time on the potty for a good ‘moving’ experience. Actually I witnessed this at the dentist office a couple of months ago. An 8 year old boy was happily singing to himself in the bathroom which was about 10 feet away from my seat in the waiting area, ignoring calls from his Mom that it was time to see his friend the dentist. The boy kept yelling, “I’m not finished!” His Mom smiled and said, “He likes to take his time.” Good for him! Who wants to hurry to see the dentist anyway. Smart little guy was multi-tasking.
After the seminar I arrived back home with several containers of…I don’t remember…with the belief that when I drank the substance, I would literally poop out and off several pounds of weight. Losing weight is most women’s detox dream, but I now know the real skivvy on the subject. Our bodies continually detox. It’s not a one time event, but part of the body’s highly developed system of balance. A kind of housekeeping that involves all of our parts: body, mind and spirit.
Dr. Deanna Minich’s book, Whole Detox, clearly explains the multi-faceted subject and gives the reader a road map to make changes that will promote better health in cleansing your whole self. Changing how you think about yourself and others, how you talk to yourself and how you approach food will greatly enhance your life instead of creating the stress of sticking to a restrictive diet, or drinking some awful tasting concoction hoping for a one-time detox experience that will forever rid yourself of…whatever. Health isn’t sustained by a single event. Every day your body and mind will perform it’s tasks if fed properly with good food, good thoughts, and specific ways to nourish your spirit.
Many years ago I became convinced that I needed to rid myself of every nasty parasite, known and unknown, to be healthy. I read those ads that told me for a mere $75 (payments were available, or maybe I could get 2 for the price of one!), my detox dreams would come true. But when I finally ordered the kit, I was terrified by the lengthy list of potential harm that the product could cause, and the description of what could be expelled. My utter fear stopped that effort, thank goodness, as well as the absolutely gruesome stories from a couple of people I knew who actually went this route, so I guess it was a $75 learning experience. This episode reminded me that I knew the mystery of what lurks in our gut already. And I learned from the master.
As a child, I listened intently as my Grandma Rose told dark healing stories that truly frightened me about the critters she extracted from her children and close relatives, and I believed every one. I would beg her to tell me these stories over and over, knowing that I wouldn’t sleep after hearing them. One involved a push mower and the result of straining too hard. You get the picture. But make no mistake, Grandma loved the telling as if the knowledge was ancient, only available to a few, and always embellished with such memorable pictures that they became imprinted in my mind in a way that I would almost swear I witnessed each one in all it’s glorious gore.
Alice Rose was steeped in East Tennessee hill lore, and was a survival story herself having birthed and raised 9 babies with no running water or electricity in her house. Oscar, my granddad, was sort of on the periphery of my childhood. Grandma was the central figure to her family, and when she painted those vivid scenes of extricating varmints from folks, I listened and believed!
My absolute trust in Grandma’s mojo was cemented at 5 years old on one steamy, East Tennessee summer evening . It was a Sunday event that only happened to the chosen few, and I was a witness to this miracle during a “come to Jesus” call in the wide, deep part of the creek that meandered in front of her house. There were a few folks walking into, not on the water, which didn’t jibe with my Presbyterian understanding of miracles. Vacation Bible School was very specific concerning miracles. So not understanding the whole baptism theology of submersion (we Presbys were not even sprinkled until 12 or 13), they looked very serious and a tad crazy rather than having received any kind of blessing, but Grandma said it was a miracle, therefore it was. No one looked “delivered.” They were all just standing around watching the converts slowly being dipped in the creek, then shouting “Hal-lay-lew-yuh!” when the soaked folks emerged. I guess I thought the miracle was that they weren’t drowned, but lived to tell the tale. This scene was replayed in the movie, “O Brother, Where Art Thou” as the congregation slowly moved to the river to save the sinners, singing:
As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good ol’ way
And who shall wear the starry crown?
Good Lord show me the way!
O sisters let’s go down
Let’s go down, come on down
O sisters let’s go down
Down in the river to pray
After the indoctrination of the wet conversions, I was totally convinced that Grandma Rose knew some big secrets when she told me if I had a persistent tickle in my throat, it might be a w##m (nasty squiggly thing!), and that I should immediately eat some salt to stop it’s possible exit. Boys Hattie! (I know that phrase doesn’t make any sense, but it’s necessary. lol) I ate salt! Even in the middle of the night! I’m pretty sure I consumed enough sodium chloride for my entire family’s lifetimes, but there certainly were never any traveling squigglies either!
In order to detox without eating copious amounts of salt, I suggest reading Whole Detox by Dr. Deanna Minich, to understand how all parts of your body work together to continually detox and balance. Anthony William who has identified many foods, supplements and much more to rid yourself of all sorts of health devouring viruses and other harmful substances in his book, Medical Medium, also included a cleanse for boosting your body’s immune system to move your healing forward.
Although there are people who have serious parasites, especially in third world countries, we may have co-evolved with a few creatures into a mutually beneficial relationship. Not every one of the little buggers is an enemy. We humans just don’t want to believe that there may be uninvited friends that are smarter than us, and have purer intentions.
Food, glorious food! I…LOVE…food. These days it’s almost all organic fruit and veggies, but there was a time when I never met a cake, a chocolate covered vanilla creme confection, or a dripping ice cream cone I didn’t love. My favorite Sunday evenin’ dinner growing up was a big ‘ol pot roast sandwich on white bread, slathered with heaps of mayo and lots of sweet pickles and fresh onion. Turns out that only the onion was actually nutritious, but what a taste treat memory it is! Years later I developed a fear of food and thought that any food except for plain iceberg lettuce would make me blimp up. A professional musician/performer can’t just blimp up. I had a tendency toward about ten pounds of extra ‘more to love’ that would leap on me if I wasn’t vigilant. It seemed that all tasty food was somehow inherently bad. And much of it was. These days, my ‘more to love’ curves are curvier than a few decades ago, but I’m much healthier than I’ve been in a very long while. I’ll take healthy over skinny any day of the week.
Margaret Lillian Rose King, my mother, was the eighth of nine children growing up in the hills of East Tennessee and tried to give her children the comforts that she didn’t have as a child. She grew up without the convenience of turning on a faucet for water, or flushing a toilet, or running to the grocery store for that last minute dinner idea. Self-sufficiency was necessary, but made for a hard life. Grandma and Grandad Rose had chickens and a smoke house for meat from the hogs they raised. Grandad also somehow managed to plow a hill full of rocks for a garden. I remember that hill. It was daunting. So when Mother married Daddy in the prosperity of the post WWII boom, her life changed from hardship to a brand new Cadillac!
Mother was a nurturing cook. As the oldest of 4 rambunctious children, I was on the front end of her early 1950’s efforts to provide us with nourishing delicious meals which morphed into more convenient food preparation in later years as we absolutely wore her to a frazzle. I remember her meals looking just like those in the advertising of that era. Lots of beautiful, bountiful food with the family giving thanks with bowed heads. There were no bowed heads at our table however. We behaved like we hadn’t eaten for days. Throw in the bickering between the younger brothers, and Mother preferred not to sit down and eat with us. She just hovered until we were finished, waiting for enough peace to slowly eat and digest her food. Pretty sure she had less stomach issues than the rest of us.
Breakfast was juiced fresh oranges with cooked to order eggs and bacon and oven buttered toast, or brown sugar laden, steaming oatmeal with a bit of butter nestled in the middle. Mother also made absolutely delicious homemade biscuits, piping hot from the oven and ladled with gravy. If we begged, she would make homemade syrup for the biscuits as well (gosh…my curves are expanding just typing the words). Lunch was at school or a quick sandwich on white ‘enriched’ bread, gulping it down as we ran out the door to play baseball or throw rocks at each other or build a snowman. For dinner, our East Tennessee hills roots called for lots of meat or pinto beans and occasional little mounds of canned salmon called croquettes, coleslaw, fried okra, cornbread, sweet tea, and fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, and melons from various relatives’ gardens. However some veggies, green beans in particular, were treated as though they had to die by over cooking.
Remember Coca-colas in small glass bottles? We weren’t supposed to drink those, but eventually we would risk a switchin’ with a keen tiny limb off of a small tree beside the driveway and suck one down anyway. Daddy liked slightly under ripe bananas with his vanilla ice cream, so Mother stocked those, but I thought he ate the ice cream to help those bananas taste better. And…Hershey’s chocolate bars. Mother finally resorted to hiding the chocolate bars in her lingerie drawer, but I tracked ’em down and lived to regret it. I couldn’t find the candy hiding places after that episode.
Reading cookbooks has been a hobby since I first discovered Mother’s big red Betty Crocker Cookbook as a child. The three-ring binder with the removable pages is showing almost sixty-five years of wear, and those vivid, colorful pictures of categorized recipes are one of the most cherished reminiscences of my childhood. I desperately wanted to make that exotic Baked Alaska! So delicate with it’s lightly browned tips of meringue-sculpted waves over frozen ice cream domed in a scooped out layer of buttery cake! But alas, it was out of my experience range, so I opted to help Mother make Lemon Meringue Pies, none of which ever made the transition into a real pie. Yes…we dipped into those pies with great big spoons and filled our bowls with crunchy warm lemon heaven.
In years past on my quest for ‘skinny’, I tried every diet known to man or woman. Except the banana diet. I actually knew a woman who lost weight on nothing but bananas. She lived across the street. I was a constant visitor there because, unlike our house, it was nice and quiet. And ohhhhh lordy! The smells that came from her kitchen!
Mildred was a marvelous baker and decorator of cakes with big red roses with deep green leaves. Not the kind you squirt out of a tube. These delicate flowers were formed with pains-taking care out of that luscious sugary almond paste, marzipan. Marzipan called to Mildred like clay to a sculptor. I would watch with fascination as she constructed those roses petal by petal, tucking in each exquisite leaf with much care. Of course I knew that most of her cakes would be happily given away for a special event like Mother’s Day or a birthday party. But I also knew that if I lingered long enough, I would be offered a couple of damaged petals or even a special rose of my own. These were coveted because Mildred was an artiste. Her confections made me feel special.
Then there was the bubbling strawberry jam, not jelly…jaaaammm. Mildred would call my name, and I would run across the street to her house. There at her dining room table we ate fresh jam, still warm from the big pot, on some kind of delicious bread with lots of butter. It was my incredible luck that she had one skinny boy my age, who didn’t care one thing about the wondrous sweets his mom made in her beautiful turquoise green 1950’s kitchen. I was Mildred’s surrogate daughter in that kitchen. She wanted to share her experience, and I was the lucky, very willing recipient of all that lusciousness. My mother was a great cook, but I alone reaped the benefits of Mildred’s finesse. Neither of my brothers or my little sister were ever invited. By the way…Mildred, who only temporarily lost weight on the banana diet, unfortunately loved her own cooking too. Soon all those bananas went back into warm breads fresh out of her beautiful 1950’s turquoise green oven. And Mildred herself quickly regained those hard fought 100 pounds.
Our moms and grandmas and neighbors like Mildred were good people who couldn’t have known at the time that we were beginning in earnest to kill our environment and food and bodies with synthetic pesticides the use of which accelerated in the 1940’s. And the 1950’s brought conveniences to moms like mine who helped her husband in his business while trying to still be a great mother to four kids. So frozen dinners, vegetable oil, and grocery stores teeming with pertly packaged products along with savvy advertising played right into the prosperity of the time, sending us down that slippery slope, “baa-baaaa-ing” and turning into the sheeple of today that the crap food industry loves.
The moral of the story? Anyone can lose weight short term on just about any ‘diet’ ever invented. For lasting change in your health (and weight loss will follow), eat tons of fresh organic, colorful vegetables and 4 to 6 different kinds of organic fruit daily. Choose healthy fats like avocados and nuts, as well as carefully researched untainted olive oil, or maybe a bit of walnut oil on a heaping pile of greens. Throw in no more than a 4oz portion of grass fed, pastured animal protein 1 or 2 times a week if you’re so inclined. Getting gluten, sugar, dairy, corn and corn products, canola oil, as well as most packaged items and fast food off your radar will scoot you way on down the road toward feeling really good. There is lots of info as to why these foods aren’t good for us, but my favorite source is Anthony William’s book, Medical Medium. Can’t beat this ground-breaking, dynamic read!
So here’s to Mildred! I still have the mem’ries, but not the sugar!